●父●

my father...I don't think he acts like one to me really. He acts like a complete fool all the time. He would never admit to this though, he will never admit he is ever wrong and he never apologizes for the horrible things he has done. His personality is so hard to deal with, one second he is fooling around laughing, then the next he is yelling at you for saying something to him that was only a joke!
Joking with him is the only way I can talk to him really. If i try to be serious he will blow it off with a joke. He has been horrible to my mother quite a few times, only thinking of himself and never truly saying sorry. I have tried to talk to him before, being a serious as I could be and he just wouldn't be serious. He acts like he is in grade school, always just fooling around and thinking if he is sweet after being scolded, all the bad things he had done will be forgotten. He refuses to give in and say he is wrong, b/c to him, that is losing. No matter how wrong he may be, in his head, he is right. Once in awhile he will "try to be nice" to me. By doing that he feels like he is doing a good job as the "father", but there is more to being a "father" then just once in awhile pretending to care about what your daughter thinks. I never show him things i work hard on, b/c i know he will glance at it and slightly nod and in a "joking" voice say "ooh, so nice dear." I used to draw a lot and want to show it off obviously b/c I was proud, but I never want to show him. And now I am writing a book. I never told him myself, my mother did though. (By the way, my mother is totally supportive, sweet and truly cares about what I think) he just nodded. Well, I could go on and on about this subject, but I think i will stop for now...
I don't think anyone is going to read this anyways. [I prolly made a bunch of typos and spelling errors too...oh well]